Worst part about this is I’ve only ever used that yellow square emoji once and it was just to see how it looked. This isn’t who I am. However, in retrospect, I suppose it is
Reading through the notes is a surreal experience please keep adding more to fuel my effervescent consumption of non descriptive emojis
Don’t you hate it when your reflection tries to murder you.
Anyway here’s an animation I spent the day doing, it’s Millport Neil and his Guilt :)
Also thank you so much for all the replies for the animatic! It means so much!! Tbh I would draw and animate more but each time I do so I gotta catch on the school work and I’m getting behind already.. But yeah today I was like meh what’s work anyway.
More AFTG Twitter updates because Nora likes torturing me
- Thea will make an appearance but Nora is aware she’s universally hated… so there’s that
- Blond Jeremy
- Auburn Neil. Auburn. Not ginger (but we’re free to ignore this)
- Neil gives Andrew the first cheek kiss and the first forehead kiss (mostly because Andrew can’t reach Neil’s)
- she really likes the bond between Jean and Neil and hopes to explore that to some degree. She says their experiences laid the groundwork for an enduring friendship and they have a very special kind of intimacy
- there will be flashbacks to Jean’s abuse in TSC
- if andreil ever got married Neil would pick Matt as his best man and Andrew would pick Kevin
- Andrew still pampers Neil with gifts and clothes even after Neil learns some fashion sense
- the marriage between Mary and Nathan was arranged
- Ichirou is 24 in TKM, 25 in TSC
- Kevin likes Hamilton and Andrew knows the Le Miserables songs because he heard them once
- Kevin does indeed appear in TSC
- Renee has a few scenes in TSC
- Jeremy’s family makes an appearance in TSC
- she hopes TSC will be a standalone
- the twins got on the horses in TKM with kiddie stools
- when the newbies start bothering Neil post TKM, Matt starts checking them so hard they see stars and denies he’s being overly aggressive when he’s confronted by Wymack
I think jean himself as a character is ambition-less, or at least appears so, because how can dreams belong to you when you yourself don’t. He’s mean and sometimes volatile, because when cruelty is all you know, it seeps into the cracks and the unstitched wounds rot.
He’s hope-less because how can someone grow in the environment he did and come out of it Desiring More when he was born into a fire where everything at the end of his reaching fingertips was devoured by its flames.
And then this character, who was never allowed hopes and dreams, meets Jeremy, and by god does that boy dream, and Jean cannot help but Want.
Currently thinking about Jeremy making exy fun for Jean again. Reinventing it from being something that’s either life or death to a genuine joy and passion.
It starts with night practices. Jean goes because he can’t stand not adapting to the Trojans’ methods and plays immediately. He’s too used to the consequences and punishments; he has to take any and all precautions against failure. It’s also a familiar routine, something that’ll steady the ever-quaking ground beneath his feet for a little while.
Jeremy tags along because Jean can’t go anywhere alone (Kevin’s advice). Jeremy stays on the sideline, observing. Jean’s technique is flawless, calculated, automatic. His face is cold, blank. It’s all muscle memory to him, body a callous, empty shell as he performs mindless drills.
I understand the excitement of JereJean shippers but please keep in mind that it took Neil three books and a very explicit sexual invitation from Andrew to wake up and realize “oh shit I’m attracted to him… oh shit I might even be in love with him”
And keep in mind that Neil’s sole focus his whole life has been survival, while Nora has made it pretty obvious that, at this point, for Jean it’s quite the opposite
He’ll most likely have to deal with severe depression and s*icidal ideation
IF JereJean even happens, it might be in the very last page, a promise for the future
It’s not going to be quick. It’s not going to be a JereJean book
Jean is also dealing with extreme sexual trauma (if you’ve read the extra content/stuff on Nora’s tumblr, you know what I’m talking about). Yes, he might become hypersexual as a reaction (it’s very common), the same way that Andrew goes right down to business once he accepts he’s attracted to Neil, but that doesn’t mean that he’s ready for a relationship of any kind (much like Andrew…)
I suspect he’ll also have to deal with extreme codependency with Jeremy, because the pairing system of the Nest is so ingrained in his brain. It’ll probably be impossible for him to leave Jeremy’s side for more than a few minutes without extreme stress, especially in the outside world (such a scary place when you’re used to living underground, with no sunlight, no open spaces, and only your teammates and abusers around you). Do not mistake codependency for affection or interest.
i’m excited for a million things in tsc, but right now i’m thinking about if/how nora will write the dynamic between jean and jeremy. (even if jerejean doesn’t happen, i anticipate jeremy’s kindness towards jean to be a part of the story.)
i can see jean wanting to push jeremy for a multitude of reasons. i can see jean feeling untrustworthy of jeremy’s optimism and wanting to push him, like, “there’s no way you’re really like this. i want to see who you are behind the cameras.” jean kind of starts prodding jeremy to see what makes him tick. what makes him snap. what he does when he snaps, what he says. if he’s violent. especially if they’re rooming together (my hc is that jeremy volunteers himself to room with jean. he trusts his teammates, but feels responsible as the captain for making sure jean gets settled). in that case, i imagine jean would either:
1, rile him up on purpose so he doesn’t have to anticipate when jeremy snaps, that way he can control when it happens. and once he knows the signs, he can protect himself in the future.
i think eventually, jeremy will get fed up at jean’s antagonism (because let’s face it, jean is going to be a bitch at some point or another and i cannot wait for it) but jeremy won’t react the way jean is expecting. maybe his face gets red, his ears turn pink. he starts to breathe a little heavier, maybe his fists clench, and jean is preparing to be hit. he went through jeremy’s things—knows he doesn’t carry any weapons—but jeremy lifts enough to pack a punch. so he waits. but jeremy just says, “i am not in the right headspace to have a conversation right now.” and leaves the dorm. jean doesn’t feel bad necessarily, just perplexed. a little pissed, honestly. like, “i put in all this effort to piss you off, and you just walk away?” and kind of wants to be hurt. exy and pain were the only constants in his life for years—they went hand in hand, that doesn’t just go away overnight. if jean pulled this shit at the nest, he would have been dealt with ages ago. not being hit is almost worse, because he at least was expecting that. he wasn’t expecting an emotionally intelligent, “i need space to think.”
eventually jeremy comes back, sees jean sitting on the bed, just waiting, and he says, calm and collected, “i can understand your transfer wasn’t ideal, but i’m not trying to make your life harder. i want you to feel safe. i want you to feel independent. and eventually, i want you to be happy, whenever you’re ready. but you’re not going to take your anger out on me, and you’re not going to take it out on the rest of the team.” and jean is just kind of??? stunned??? like?? is this a fucking joke?? but jeremy is just standing a safe distance away, with his arms crossed, waiting for jean to say something. so jean nods, kind of dumbfounded, still a little on edge, because what the fuck do you say to that? how do you argue with someone who saw through your bullshit plan and completely disarms you? and jeremy asks if jean’s eaten, if he wants to go get food with him, or if he wants to be alone.
or 2, jean will stay very silent and still and try his hardest to steer clear of jeremy as to not attract any attention to himself. make himself small and avoid conflict. “if i don’t make any noise and i am a ghost, i can’t be hurt. if i do nothing wrong, i can covet this minuscule, yet fleeting comfort. my bones just healed, let me prolong this feeling.” maybe jean doesn’t want to even try to push jeremy. maybe he doesn’t speak for awhile after he arrives at scu, doesn’t want to say anything to incriminate riko or the ravens or the moriyamas; the blind, forced loyalty still ingrained into him. i can see him just observing his new surroundings. analyzing his new team, watching how they interact with one another, being stunned at the individualism that’s normal to these people. they don’t need to be paired at all times— the raven buddy system doesn’t exist here. i can see jean kind of paralyzed and overwhelmed at all the places he could go if he wanted to, but not leaving his dorm very often at all.
and i can see jeremy just wanting jean to be comfortable. he could either:
1, watch jean, learning how he moves, what makes him startle, what he does and doesn’t like based off his body language. i can see jeremy picking up quickly that the nest was a horrible place, just based off his interactions with the ravens on the court, but also from the press. being so deeply disturbed to see the aftermath of the nest in the way jean reacts to loud noises. how jean shuts down after a trojan claps him on the shoulder. i wonder if, after a winning game, jeremy will try to talk to jean about it and say, “you played so well, are you proud?” and jean replying, “i’m relieved.” and jean didn’t know the gravity of the truth he gave away, but jeremy understands. can read between the lines well enough to understand why jean is relieved. so jeremy says, “well, i’m proud of you.” and jean doesn’t look at him, but he’s a bit too expressive to hide his feelings, and he fidgets when he’s nervous, despite how desperately he tries to tamp down his feelings, because burying them is easier than letting them seep to the surface.
or 2, he could accept that jean is going to take a long time to come around, if at all, and not really bother with trying so hard. i could see jeremy treating jean like every other trojan, just without the touches and hugs, as they all learned quickly that jean hates being touched. he tries to include jean, always offers for him to tag along, to join them in doing whatever they’re going to do. he wants the best for jean, yeah, but he doesn’t give him any special treatment. and maybe that’s what could help jean come around, just a tiny bit. even just joining jeremy to the cafeteria for dinner. even just sitting in the living room to do work, rather than in the bedroom. maybe being treated like everyone else would be beneficial to jean, seeing jeremy model positivity and reflecting that treatment back onto jean. and of course jeremy would be proud if/when jean came around, but there’s no expectations, and maybe that’s what puts jean at something resembling ease. that nobody expects anything of him and here’s no pressure to be any type of way, and for once in his life he can figure out who he is and who he wants to become.
anyway, sorry for the essay. i have ample thoughts about aftg in general, but tsc has kind of been on my mind a lot :)
So seeing that Nora liked this tweet about both Jean and Jeremy being traumatised I feel maybe my belief (more like sense of impending doom) that Jeremy is going to be like that “the saddest people smile the brightest” quote might have some merit to it lol
I’ve been thinking about it for days and don’t think I’ve seen like anyone mention it?? Unless I’ve been looking in the wrong places?? (Thank god someone said it on Twitter so I didn’t have too tho)
We don’t actually know anything at all about Jeremy either, bar what he portrays to the public on camera and like that one meeting before that one game canonically so like bro idk I just feel like he’s not all sunshine and it’s very possible we’ve imagined him as someone he isn’t over the last like ten years but maybe I’m just too used to the foxes and angst?? Lmao
